A Rozy View on Life

I am John Rozelle, hear me ROAR like a dinosaur!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Fun at the Dentist

I went to the dentist recently. It had been a while since I last went. I had to get x-rays, you know, the ones where they try to bring you right to verge of gagging and inducing the vomiting reflex, and have you hold that while the machine takes the x-rays. Clearly this is not my favorite part. At least they give you a lead vest to protect you against the harmful rays. And I say "vest" because it had no arms and stopped at my belt. I can deal with nearly gagging but there is something very discomforting about having harmful x-rays directed toward me and knowing that although this is for my dental health, a possible outcome is that my future child will not have a mouth at all due to the x-rays that have interfered with natural development of the genetic elements that created him. At least the x-rays showed that all me teeth are in the right place. And by that, I mean my mouth. Of which my future son will most likely not have.
There was a new element to the dental experience. Sunglasses. Yep. The lady handed me sunglasses (you know, like the really big ones that old people wear over their regular glasses) and I wasn't really sure what to do. I mean, I had brought my own sunglasses, and frankly I thought my own were a bit more stylish. After looking at the dental assistant a bit awkwardly, I figured I'd put the shades on. Maybe it was just a psychological thing. Like if you feel hip then you won't notice the fact that your teeth are being scraped and drilled by sharp metal instruments.
Despite the less positive elements of the experience, it was not completely unredeeming. The dental assistant was pleasant, attractive, and married. You'll see where I'm going. She told me I smelled good, which was a nice compliment, albeit a bit awkward since I don't take compliments well and she was married. And she still is, I'm not suggesting she left him or anything. She asked me if I wore cologne, to which I responded negatively. I then felt obligated to explain why I smelled good since I was not wearing cologne. I was wearing aftershave. That in itself is not weird, except for the fact that it was obvious that I had not shaved for a couple days. I suppose in my awkwardness of being complimented by a married woman it seemed that if I explained that I was wearing aftershave because my face was dry (as opposed to applying it after I shaved) she would perceive that as a cover-up and trying to explain away that I wore aftershave (since I don't wear cologne) in order to attract the opposite sex via scent at the dentist's office.
Who says I don't have a healthy imagination?


  • At 10:01 PM, Blogger Matt Mikalatos said…

    You do smell nice.

  • At 1:43 PM, Blogger Andy McCullough said…

    What you should have said was "It's because I don't floss". Then since she has already complemented you on your smell, she can't scold you for not flossing.

  • At 2:36 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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  • At 6:05 AM, Blogger Karlović said…

    Hay Johny boy. It's Davor, your Croatian friend. Just wanted tu let you know that i did not forgot you :)

  • At 10:41 PM, Blogger Liz said…

    Ok...seriously. Hopefully this doesn't make me sound like a stalker, but I was thinking about you and googled your name. You page came up, so I read "fun at the dentist." It made me laugh so hard I started coughing. Haha.


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