A Rozy View on Life

I am John Rozelle, hear me ROAR like a dinosaur!

Thursday, February 22, 2007

What do a Brown Corduroy Skirt and Hitler have in Common?

Have you ever had a man wearing a skirt call you an ignorant Nazi slave? No? Well, I have. Those weren't his exact words, but that was his point.
Last night Andy and I went to "Conspiracy Night" where a university professor shows a video regarding some current controversy and then discussion follows. Our film of choice depicted George W. Bush as the Hitler of today (photoshopped pictures with W. in full Nazi gear, Hitler mustache and all), desiring to rule the world through a New World Order. Turns out this Nazi New World Order has been around for a long time with the desire of world domination. Christopher Columbus was actually part of it. America was discovered to be used as a tool to develop technology and be a temporary stage for this Nazi regime. Of course, the events of 9-11 were a predominant role in the film, and how Bush has used the threat of terrorism to control the American people. There is a secret society, although not really all that secret-the Skull and Bones, who are tied to the Nazis and whose role it is to establish world domination. Of course, George W., his father and grandfather were all part of it. As is much of the American government.
Although this sounds a bit far-fetched, I must admit the film was utterly fascinating. And a bit frightening. I might even watch it again sometime.
So once the film was over, the professor addressed Andy and I with a question resembling, "So now how do you feel after having being enlightened to the fact that your country is the new Nazi regime desiring world domination and you are its slave, being used to accomplish its purposes? It must be a lot to take on at this new realization. You have never before realized the extent and comprehensiveness of what is going on." I admit I was a bit surprised. My ignorance and gullability.
I was soon told that the Bible was written by an established corperation in Rome. And every single war that has been waged was a result of an elite group within the society that desired to control its own people by fear. But keep in mind that discussion also involved the hundreds of other conspiracy movies that contain lies and half-truths, but in response to these comparisons, it was made clear that in our incredible fortune we had the privilege of stumbling upon the movie that gives all the answers to life. Imagine-us, in an offshoot of a bar, about 15 of us, listening to a man wearing a brown corduroy skirt, finally exposed to the reality of life and why things are the way they are. Imagine my delight. I apologize for flaunting. You'll catch your break someday.
Really, the movie was quite fascinating and had many interesting points. It was made by Alex Jones, a journalist from Austin, Texas. I think it was called "Martial Law" perhaps. Beware of the reality you may find yourself in, you ignorant Nazi slave, you.

Monday, February 12, 2007

Dance Maniac

For those of you who know me, you are well aware of the fact that I do not like to dance. Or more accurately; I cannot dance. Perhaps even more accurately; I cannot dance well. It has something to do with my absolute lack of rhythm. I am learning to clap and sing at the same time though, and am becoming quite average at it.
Now for the goods. So there we were in Morocco, enjoying a traditional Moroccan meal. Then comes our traditional dinner entertainment. Dancers. Scantily clad dancers. And a dancer with a tray balanced on her head that had many candles on it.Luckily she was wearing more clothes. She was, uh, more experienced in the realm of dancing. This based on her candles and less young looking appearance. I guess you have to prove yourself before they let you dance with candles on your head. I don't blame them.
So there we are watching the lady with candles on her head (perhaps this is her take on being the 'light of the world') when the first song ends. "First song" signifying yet another song to follow it. Perhaps this candle dancing woman had a special ability to perceive the flaws of her spectators and was well aware of my lack of abilities in the dancing arena. Early in her dance, she proceeds to our table, approaches my chair and begins rubbing my mohawk. A little awkward, but as you rightfully suspect, it gets worse. She then grabs my hand and pulls me out of the seat.(Note the excitement and willful accomodation expressed by my facial features. At least the guy on the left is having a good time.) I really don't have much time to deliberate "Is it better to be ridiculed for being a bad sport and not dancing with her or to be ridiculed for revealing one's horrible dance moves to their friends and a restaurant full of strangers?" Being in a good mood, I opted for the latter. There we are, in my public dancing debut.

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Monkey Mania

So I had 2 options for the day trip. A place inhabited with wild monkeys or another place that had blah blah blah. Clearly, the superlative choice was easy. Monkey Island. In reality, it wasn't truly an island, but it kinda looked like one. And it just sounds good.
At the intial commencement of our tour, the cabbie dropped us off out front of a cave. To my instant delight, we were met by many monkeys.
Monkeys sitting.Monkeys walking.
Monkeys on vans.
You get the idea. We stood in wonder of these delightful little creatures, watching them with the fascination of a child in a huge candy store. Don't misunderstand me; we had no plans of using the money mom gave us in order to purchase the monkeys for the sake of tasty consumption. Moving along. As we moved along we spotted a monkey in a tree, a bit more of a natural setting for the monkey (compared to the concrete street). He was also engaged in a very natural activity. Taking a tinkle.
Looks pretty comfortable, doesn't he.
It's ok. Everybody does it. Immediately after taking care of business, the monkey abruptly jumped to the rail right next to us.
This is right before he jumped
We were all a bit frightened, by the idea of being attacked by a monkey, especially a monkey who probably still had tinkle on him.
After touring through the cave, we were met by more monkeys. I hear imitation is the highest form of flattery.

This little guy was just hanging out on the fence. I'm pretty sure if his mom wouldn't have been nearby I would have kidnapped the little fella and made him my very own pet and friend. I imagine procurring a monkey at this age would make him more likely to see me as mother figure and in turn develop our bond. More on the idea of monkeys as pets later..
Continuing our journey through Monkey Island, we came upon another precious specimen.
Once again, imitation is the highest form of flattery.
Andy decided to forego the instructions directly in front of this monkey and pet him anyway.For those of you not familiar with the monkey species, a brief educational introduction:
Monkeys like to climb

and eatand give thorough back rubsand wrestle

and just sit around

and pickpocket

and try to scare you when you make faces at them.As we traversed the furthest reaches of Monkey Island, we discovered some subjects that were quite sociable with the human species.
In my endeavor to enjoy the reality of having a monkey on shoulder (as a pirate, I would much prefer a monkey to a bird), we decided to follow these seemingly people-friendly primates.
I approached one monkey, and while still about 15 feet away, he began walking toward me. Without any sort of coercion or persuasive "monkey-talk," the monkey jumped on my bag (aka man purse) and propelled himself onto my shoulders. Apparently the other monkey got a little jealous. Standing about 20 feet away, he ran to me, also scaled my body and began brawling with the first monkey. I was a bit uncertain of how to respond.
Don't worry, I didn't throw up.
This guy thought Andy was an amusement ride.
Based on the picture, I think I have to agree with him.
Although my first encounter with monkeykind caught me a bit by surprise, we rapidly grew more accustomed to each other.
This monkey was hungry.Here is an action shot of a little monkey (who seemed to be acting as if he were intoxicated-stumbling, trippining, etc.) almost falling of his seat.

Don't worry, he caught himself. He is adorable, huh.
Being an avid thumb-sucker in my childhood (and early adolescence) I felt an additional bond to this pint sized primate.
This venture solidified my fondness of monkeys and increased my desire to have one as a pet. Although some people look down on monkeys for throwing their own poo, this could be a very strategic quality to have in the midst of a burglary or visit from an unwanted friend or salesman. I would also train my pet monkey to use the toilet (to cut costs on diapers and just general mess around the housse), I would teach him Tai Chi (partially for my entertainment and partially for self defense in relation to burglars and other monkeys, dogs, and stray cats), and I would also teach him to enjoy a cup of black tea with milk, sipping gingerly with pinky extended. Oh, the possibilities of being a citizen in pet monkey ownership existence...
I leave you with a couple of my favorite shots of this magnificent expedition of Monkey Island.