A Rozy View on Life

I am John Rozelle, hear me ROAR like a dinosaur!

Monday, August 28, 2006

I Got Digglered

So here’s the story.
My new roommate Andy and I decided that we should partake in some men’s time while at Copper Mountain. Earlier in the day we had noticed a contraption that intrigued our inclinations toward outdoor adventures. It was a mountain scooter called a Diggler.

The fantasy realm of combining scootering with mountain-biking is no longer merely a fantasy. It is a reality, perhaps too much of a reality for some of us.

Downhill on a Diggler

There were many warning signs to the effect of “This can be really dangerous if you don’t know what you’re doing,” “Danger,” “People have died here,” etc. Clearly these signs were not for me, but for the other people who didn’t know what they were doing.
After our first run down the mountain, Andy and I both felt more comfortable on Digglers. We decided to take one more run down the mountain in order to appreciate our newly developed abilities. I found that the best way to display these recently sharpened skills was on the terrain park. The terrain park consisted of one large hill/jump leading to a series of three smaller jumps. Following my initial trial of this terrain park, I decided I was ready to get enough speed off the first hill in order to catch some air off the first small jump.

I think this is a picture of same terrain park in the winter, but if not-it is very similar. The largest jump is in the back.

I went up the trail far enough to gain enough speed to get over the first hill with sufficient speed to launch me off the first small jump. As I proceeded over the first hill, I encountered a problem. Andy, my roommate, also realized there was a problem when my Diggler went over the first small jump without me. The problem was that as I went over the first and largest jump, it turned out that I had gained enough speed to catch some pretty decent air.

This is what taking a jump on a Diggler is supposed to look like. Pretty sure I didn't look like this at all.

To my surprise, I found myself flying about 10 feet in the air. As this is not a customary happening for me, I felt slightly out of my element. To add to my dilemma, at some point my Diggler and I separated paths mid flight.
As far as I can tell (based of remaining evidence), I resorted back to an infantile state of the fetal position in hopes of providing some sort of reassurance before my inevitable collision with the earth. Turns out Mother Nature doesn’t like it when you try to defy her rules.
I met the earth with a loud “BAM,” which was accompanied with a certain amount of physical pain. At this point I experienced a certain amount of psychological pain at the realization that Andy (my not so small roommate) was coming behind me on his Diggler. I knew that my physical pain would grow exponentially were he to come over the hill and land on me. I quickly stood up, ran about 4 steps, then fell back to my comforting fetal position.
Having seen my Diggler take the second jump without me, Andy quickly but cautiously came to my vicinity. He flagged down the medics, which appeared to be taking their sweet time. Directly after having my head smashed into the earth, the medics proceeded to ask me a slew of personal questions - name, address, phone number, what hurt, what happened, etc. Frankly, I just wanted a little time to enjoy my fetal curl, and try to let my brain and body figure out what just happened. No such luck.
It turns out I had been able to protect the entire left side of my body by landing on my right side. Oh, and my head and face also helped break the fall. The collision literally knocked the snot out of me, which I still find amusing. My chin was cut and bleeding and my right side received some scrapes. After receiving some antiseptic spray and a band-aid, then waiting for about 15 minutes, we were driven down the mountain (about a 20 minute ride). Throughout this time, yet again another stranger (the driver) tried to conversate with me as I battled nausea.
Skipping ahead….

At the hospital
We get to the hospital and after the mandatory paper work that asks if I want communion or have any final rights, am directed to a hospital bed. Fast-forwarding through my hospital stay, my chin wound was cleaned in order to be anesthetized for the needed stitches. The doctor inserted a large needle into my chin and slowly injected anesthetic as he moved the needle along. The needle point came to my laceration, at which point anesthetic leaked through my wound. He proceeded through my wound, injecting more anesthetic. He even went so far that the needle poked out of the other side of my face and squirted anesthetic all over the floor.

Check out the sweet blue paper shorts I scored from the hospital

The doctor finished, until Andy mentioned the other cut near my lip. The doctor recognized his mistake and remedied it by injecting more anesthetic near my lip. Did I mention that the insertion of anesthetic was the most painful part of this journey? It was. Well, besides the blister I have on my left thumb from the handlebar.
So, then I went to get an x-ray to see if I had broken any ribs. As I am walking down the hall I hear, “John! John!” Turns out it was a good friend of mine.
He had encountered a similar accident on his road bike. His front tire blew while taking a corner and sent him flying. He encountered some nasty road rash on his shoulder and jacked up his hand pretty bad. It was ok though, he was wearing full body spandex.
So, we got to have hospital rooms right next to each other. It was a special time.


  • At 8:59 PM, Blogger Glenda, saved by grace said…

    O my goodness I hope your alright!

    Go VOTE for Whitney Rodriguez :) This is my darling daughter, Whitney. She performed in Las Vegas back in July 2006 in the USA World Showcase. Whitney was 12 years old at the time and is her first really big performance. She won 1st place in the category of “Most Promising Country Music Singer”. This voting determines the winner of $50,000.00 Hear a little bit of her performance: http://www.mtscproductions.com/video/f17.htm http://www.usatvbroadcast.com/vote.htm She is #59 This would really boost her college fund! Pass this email on to your friends and family if you feel the performance warrants it. Thank you in advance for your participation,

  • At 9:45 PM, Blogger Alexis said…

    Three gold stars:

    1) For displaying generally manly, tough, and burly qualities

    2) For the superb telling of the tale, and

    3) For putting up with me while I complained to you on the phone tonight

    Peace out.

  • At 8:46 AM, Blogger Mike & Aileen Kindsfater said…

    Misery loves company. Or so they say (Bryon, your mane of chest hair looks as manly as ever). That's good stuff. I think the funniest part of the whole thing is that the inventor of that contraption decided to name it "diggler."

  • At 11:42 AM, Blogger Zoran said…

    Well if you need some re-stitching I'm sure you can find your way around hospitals here in Rijeka. :)

    Oh, yeah, Medusa blew up yesterday, so we might have to find another place to play pool when you come back.

  • At 8:50 AM, Blogger Emily said…

    Laughing out loud in the Dallas airport on the way to Venezuela!
    Hotter than the 80's, John. Hotter than the 80's.

  • At 8:55 AM, Blogger Bryon Scharenberg said…

    man john, you really got digglered. What's with that anyway? It makes me think of that horrible mark wahlberg movie, in which case you wouldn't want to say that phrase...
    Well presented my friend, especially the sweet butt shot of you in your shorts.
    -bryon "still scabby" scharenberg

  • At 9:48 PM, Blogger Taylor said…

    Awesome, John. Another well told tale. How are you feeling? Still having nightmares from that needle?

  • At 10:23 AM, Blogger Matt Mikalatos said…

    I have really enjoyed reflecting on this post and just thinking deeply about it.

    I have two questions for you:

    1) In the picture of your paper shorts, why is your head so tiny? It seems to have shrunken. Is this caused by some drug given to you in the hospital? Have the effects reversed themselves?

    2) In the picture of Bryon at the end I notice what appears to be his shorts hanging over the side of the rail. Are you sure this is a family-friendly picture to have on your blog?

  • At 10:23 AM, Blogger Matt Mikalatos said…

    P.s. Do you know glenda, saved by grace and should I really vote for Whitney Rodriguez?

  • At 2:41 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Just to clarify Matt, what you see hanging over the railing in that last picture is Bryon's bicycling jersey. John is in fact the one without real pants.

  • At 10:01 PM, Blogger Matt Mikalatos said…

    I would like to say, for the record, that paper pants are still "real pants." They are practically cotton.

  • At 7:25 PM, Blogger Staci said…

    sight of blood!!

    I faint really easily i almost fainted when i saw those pictures.

    And i seriously covered my mouth because i was grossed out by the blood.
    eeehh...my stomach hurts now. i can't get the images out of my head.

  • At 10:55 PM, Blogger Big Daddy said…

    Wow! Digglered! Poor guy. They always make such dangerous activities look so carefree. Perhaps caring more would have benefitted you in one less trip to the hospital? By the way, where was your Roomy when the decision was made to ride a diggler, let alone down a hill towards a jump?
    Paper shorts are cool. I believe that is North Carolina Blue. Do you still have them?
    You have a gift for storytelling, seek it.


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