A Rozy View on Life

I am John Rozelle, hear me ROAR like a dinosaur!

Sunday, July 02, 2006

The Tally

Yes, that is correct, 477 ants dead. You break into my kitchen, steal my food, threaten the cleanliness of my kitchen (some may argue that this never existed in the first place) and as I initially threatened, you my little ant fiends are dead. I warned you, and I declared publicly that your existence would be cut short. I gave you multiple chances, yet you continually tried to abuse me and take advantage of me. No longer will man be ruled by ants. Man, not insect, was given authority over all living creatures and I intend to keep it that way.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Well, Thank You

As usual, I walked into my kitchen. Upon looking at the stove, I recognized a larger force of ants than I have yet to encouter since war was waged.
This troop numbered over 100 and I confess my utter delight at the opportunity to slay a force of such magnitude. It almost felt like they were just giving me this victory, and who was I to deny their offer?
Current tactics remained standard issue, and flames of hairspray met the prowlers which herded around a chunk on food on the stove at the battle which I like to refer to as "Stovetop Slaughter".
Ants alive before the warfare:

Now let's zoom in a bit

Ants dead after the warfare:

Ants, I have displayed my utter seriousness toward your presence in my kitchen, it will not be tolerated. I fear you have moved me to make less personal and less entertaining means of your execution. Soon, your entire colony will reap the consequences of your intrusion. You, your children, your children's children and all that dwell in your residence should make amends with your god. You shall soon meet him.

It just aint right

All me to preface this post with acknowledgement of my fondness for tea, not to mention my inclination towards sugar and sweet tea.

There I was, going to get the sugar to sweeten a tasty cup of tea, when to my amazement I saw that multiple scouts had made their way into my sugar shaker.

This is not funy. This is not kind. This is motivation for me to eradicate the entire race of ants worldwide.

For the previous day or two, I had taken a slight break from my relentless pursuit of killing every single ant that made it's way into my range of vision. Occasionally I would see an ant or two, and out of my great mercy would let them pass. These days are over. The days of Sodom and Gomorrah are now reinstated. No mercy. No survivors.