A Rozy View on Life

I am John Rozelle, hear me ROAR like a dinosaur!

Sunday, May 07, 2006

Me Against an Army (Wildlife in the Kitchen)

So there I was, in my kitchen, preparing to make a splendid cup of tea (mmmm, tea), when I noticed a bit of food on the floor, covered with ants. Perhaps "covered" is not an adequate word; "swarmed with" may be more appropriate. Recalling that this grouping of ants is properly referred to as an "army," I responded in such a way to combat the forces that invaded my kitchen and desired to leave it in an even less sanitary condition than it was already in.
I recalled an internet cartoon called Trogdor, and decided I must do what I think Trogdor would do in this situation. (Please view this link in order to accentuate your reading comprehension, and understand what was going through my mind as I battled my little enemies).
Unfortunately, as much as I desired an aerosol spray bottle to fuel the flames to burninate the army, no such bottles were found in my residency. I was forced to mehtods employed by early man, and merely used a lighter, tweeked to exude flames 5x that of the normal strength. After certain components of the apparatus began melting, I was forced to use two lighters: one as the flame-thrower, the other as an igniter. I must admit, that as I sat there for about 3 or 4 minutes combatting the forces of kitchen evil, the inner-child in me found much satisfaction in burninating this battalion that threatened my kitchen's well being.
Kids, don't try this at home.

5 Comments:

  • At 1:34 AM, Blogger Zoran said…

    this post is rated PG-13

    Poor little ants, they were just trying to feed their families...uhm...well one big family I guess. And they thought you didn't want that food since it was on the floor (or did you eat it after all?).

     
  • At 10:17 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    TROOOGDOOOOR!
    Trogdor was a man...maybe he was a dragon-man....maybe he was just a dragon...but he was still TROOOOGDOOOOR.

     
  • At 9:59 PM, Blogger KittyDub said…

    This reminds me of another incident invoving ants, and a certain young man's family jewels...

     
  • At 10:00 PM, Blogger KittyDub said…

    This reminds me of another incident invoving ants, and a certain young man's family jewels...

     
  • At 2:06 AM, Blogger John Rozelle said…

    Ah, yes. I recall the laughs that ensued, of course only after sincere concern and worry. I suppose this is payback. Ants, you mess with my family, you mess with me.

     

Post a Comment

<< Home