A Rozy View on Life

I am John Rozelle, hear me ROAR like a dinosaur!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

Knock Knock. Who's There?

So there I was, sitting in the living room, checking my email and listening to Audioslave (they're a good rock band). When all of the sudden the doorbell rang. Now, this is in and of itself not an out of the ordinary experience, but what followed was clearly not ordinary.
I opened the door and looked out into the dark hallway to see no one. So my eyes searched the premises to find the fantom ringer. To my surprise, I found a woman (probably in her late 30's-early 40's), crouched to side of my door. Her position resembled that of a catcher in baseball. She sat with her head held in her hands, saying nothing.
"Perhaps this woman is drunk and needing somewhere to sober up," I thought to myself. "Or perhaps she is begging for money." As I stood there looking at her, I expected her to initiate conversation, since she was the one who rang my doorbell. This did not occur, so being the communication major that I am, asked her if she spoke English. (Using my skills of deduction, I reasoned that attempting to conversate in Croatian would be short-lived and inefficient). She said, "Ne.....ne...ne," which means "No.....no...no" This was followed by a few other words which were indistinguisable.
"Do you need something?" I asked. No response.
I stood there, wondering who she was and why she was at my doorstep.
Then, after a moment (perhpas longer), she stood up, turned toward me and attempted to enter my living quarters. Needless to say, this caught me by surprise. I stood my ground, as any 25 year old man would when a 40 year old woman tries to come into his apartment, and grabbed her arm saying, "Excuse me.....No." Then she grabbed me by the throat and started yelling at me. Ok, just kidding about the throat and yelling-I thought that would spice things up a little bit. (I partially attribute my willingness to stand firm to listening to rock music. Had I been listening to easy Jazz, perhaps the outcome would have been different). After stopping her and telling her no, she returned to her previous position squatting next to the door.
My adrenaline pumping (the proper response of anyone having just confronted a 40 year old woman), I stood there looking at her, trying to make sense of these circumstances. This lasted a few moments, as I pondered a proper response. "Do I prepare myself to be more forceful if she tries to come in again? Is she in need of something and should I help her? What could I do to help her? Maybe she thinks she has finally found her long-lost American son." (I quickly ruled out the last one-she didn't really seem all that happy to see me.)
"Do you need something?" I asked. "...........Can I help you with something?" Again, she sat there, head in her hands. No response. So I stood there once again, pondering my next move. "Maybe I should just shut the door and leave her on the doorstep. That's kinda weird, but I really don't know what else to do."
Soon, she stood up once again. She walked to the stairway and proceeded to walk downstairs as if nothing had happened. Her movements did not convey signs of someone who had been drinking and the purpose of her visit remains a mystery.


  • At 7:49 PM, Blogger Matt Mikalatos said…

    Matt's Croat-o-matic Cultural and Language Translator has this to say:

    "Sir, I need to use the restroom. Please, sir, I really need to go, may I please use the restroom."

  • At 12:41 AM, Blogger Matt Mikalatos said…

    I had to put another comment, because--and this is my biggest pet peeve about blogger--if there is only one comment it says "1 comments" under the post. Drives me crazy.

  • At 5:43 AM, Blogger Alexis said…

    yeah, that really bothers me, too.

  • At 2:05 PM, Blogger John Rozelle said…

    Perhaps you could think of it as, "One person comments that..." Maybe that will help resolve the dissonance you are experiencing, Matt. I hope this helps.

  • At 10:08 AM, Blogger Matt Mikalatos said…

    Or I could just continue my tradition of writing three comments for every one post that anyone makes in the blogsphere.


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