A Rozy View on Life

I am John Rozelle, hear me ROAR like a dinosaur!

Saturday, April 08, 2006

To Hammock (When a good thing goes bad)

Allow me to begin this post with a definition. “Hammocking” or “To Hammock” is merely the blissful experience of indulging in the specific purpose for which God created hammocks. Hammocking is truly one of my favorite pastimes which I have not delighted in for over 9 months, until today.
A week ago, my good friend Dave brought me a hammock from the states, a gesture which is certain to transform my life here in Europe. After the purchase of some rope, as well as necessary time and contemplation of proper hammock set up on my balcony, I arranged a satisfactory layout. Upon gracefully positioning myself in my new blue hammock, I cannot accurately describe the sheer delight that filled my countenance as I swayed back and forth, basking in the beauty of God’s creation, the hammock. To add to this incredible experience, I was also basking in the goodness of the sun while reading a charming book by A.W. Tozer. Ladies and gentlemen, life does not get much better than this.
But it does get worse. So, I lay there, relaxed and delighting in the glorious life of hammocking, when I felt a few sprinkles of water fall lightly upon my skin. In European balcony culture this is not out of the ordinary, as most inhabitants hang-dry clothes, which as times drip water onto the balcony below. The unfortunate circumstance here is that there is not a balcony above, just the roof. As my eyes searched to find the origin of this dripping, to my dismay all my eyes discovered was the hind end of a pigeon perched over the edge of the roof. Turns out this little guy had to take a tinkle.
Due to the sheer delight of my newly regained hammocking status, a little tinkle was not going to stop me. I continued on, reading and delighting, unaffected by this pigeon’s need to expel bodily fluids. I then became aware of the fact that in this fine city, there exists more than one pigeon needing to visit the little boys’ room. Actually, within the next 20 minutes, this circumstance occurred twice more. Still undaunted by these pigeons attempts to spoil my hammocking experience, I carried on.
In the 25 minutes that followed, this experience happened yet another time or two. My determination to continue delighting in my hammocking was not thwarted until at last I encountered a pigeon, which to my best estimation, had just visited 7 Eleven and consumed a Big Gulp. As nature demands, this Big Gulp was now reckoning its return to nature, and from this pigeon’s best estimation, I was nature. Previous sprinklings were just that, “sprinklings,” but this expulsion of fluids proved to create in me a sense of awe and fear, at which time I sprang from my hammock, and darted inside before being completely drenched in the result of 7 Eleven’s big money maker.


  • At 11:26 AM, Blogger Alexis said…

    Oh, man, if you could see how hard I'm laughing right now... Thanks for finally updating- the masses have been waiting in eager anticipation. Pigeon pee, especially Rijeka pigeon pee, is about the sickest thing I can imagine being anointed with during a fine session of hammocking. Best of luck to you on the boat next week.

  • At 11:36 AM, Blogger michelle said…

    Ok there is perseverance through pain and suffering that produces hope and faith, but I don't think that I would have endured through the pigeon pee...I think that might be taking the verse to the extreme...but then again if you learned more about God and gained a new perspective on life it was well worth it~or maybe not.

  • At 1:42 PM, Blogger Taylor said…

    Hahaha. You're nuts. That's all I have to say. I mean, really? Who just sits there through that, John? But on the other hand, it was Tozer... (which one are you reading anyway?)

  • At 9:37 AM, Blogger Matt Mikalatos said…

    I would just like to point out that birds are not able to pee. That's why they have that lovely white poop. So any sprinkling you received was actually liquid poop. yum!

  • At 10:35 AM, Blogger SubMantha said…

    I echo Lexi's sentiments...about the laughing, that is. I'm at work and I might be scaring the patrons with my mirth...I can't believe that actually happened...

  • At 6:26 PM, Blogger Zoran said…

    well i'm protesting about not seeing your new blog entry...not that I have any


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