A Rozy View on Life

I am John Rozelle, hear me ROAR like a dinosaur!

Saturday, January 28, 2006

We are not alone in the universe

For those of you who thought only humans struggled with that pesky piece of TP sticking to the bottom of your shoe, you were wrong. Although this common European pigeon is on the move, notice that rebellious little square that remains stuck to the bottom of his foot. Yes, it’s true-this is not just a problem only dealt with by those higher on the food chain. Let us join together with our little pigeon friends to combat the forces of rebellious toilet paper squares that desire to destroy our self-esteem and thwart our plans to leave the restroom unhindered by free-moving TP radicals.

Friday, January 27, 2006

What is small, black, and used by thousands of men from all over the world?

So there I was, at a very intriguing, cultural, and historical "Turkish" bath house in Budapest, Hungary. It was a magnificent structure, with a variety of hot and cold baths, used by inhabitants back in the 15th to 17th centuries. I, having forgot to bring my own bathing suit, was required to rent. Three American dollars was a small price to pay. A small price for a small suit. I had high hopes of wearing my boxers under the rented suit, in order to protect myself from the...well, there's no appropriate way of saying it...you know. Anyway, it would have looked quite silly, me wearing my blue and white plaid boxers under a small black speedo that has most surely been worn by thousands of men from all over the world. Luckily, I could enjoy my bathing experience with confidence, being that speedo wearing is quite culturally acceptable in Europe. I must say that the Americans with me were not as culturally adapted.
On a similar note, I wish to dispell a common misconception. Contrary to common belief, the loin cloth is still in use. While enjoying a variety of baths, ranging from 46 to 100 degrees Fahrenheit, as well as a wet sauna at 122 degrees, I and my company noticed a plethora of men employing the use of, yes, the loin cloth. I feel I cannot mention more of this activity without overstepping my bounds of public decency, something I must say these men had no regard for (particularly the man who wore his loin cloth backwards). I fear I have already gone too far.

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Man Purses. Also for those who shoot guns.

To clear up a common misconception, I have posted this picture which I believe speaks volumes. I came across this European soldier which proudly sported his very own man purse. For those of you who once thought man purses were only for the metrosexual, think again. I believe this man is proof that masculinity does not rest in one's haircut, spouse, car, or even tolerance for pain. Masculinity rests in one's confidence in oneself. Clearly, the camoflauge fatigues and man purse create no sense of cognitive dissonance in this man's mind, and for that I applaud him. Granted, I believe this sort of confidence renders me less of a man, since I personally do not believe I would be willing to test those limits. But hats off to those who continually stretch the limits and boldly go where I do not believe most men should go.

If you do not hear from me for a while, this man probably found this blog and I am currently being tortured in a European death camp for man purse haters. In that case, I would appreciate your prayers. Thank you.